I need to get out more...

Hey constant readers! yeah, both of you

I finally went and collected the painting I bought last month, after about a week of missing contacts and plain forgetfulness. I'll post an image of the artwork once I get permission from the artist - copyright and IP protection, and all that. ;)

While I was there paying for art, we got to talking about how things have been for ourselves. My artist friend has been very busy trying to scratch together enough works of art for her art course and for another showing she's been signed up for... It's so damn hard to come up with good ideas for art, and doubly so when your under the pressure of a deadline. I wish her all the best.

But it also made me realise why I've been so unhappy with my output lately. I have been working quite a bit for the past few months, as my family and friends are sure to point out if you ask them. The problem is, work is ALL that I've been doing.

If you were to ask me how I've been, or what I've been doing, I'd probably say, "Oh, I've been busy working". But if you asked me what else I'd been up to, I'd probably draw a blank. And that is not good.

I think the problem lies in that I can only really focus on one particular project at a time. Multitasking seems totally beyond my powers. I can do it, but only if the tasks are related and I'm not literally doing them at the same time.
When I first started my job in retail, I was also doing a course of WFTD painting murals (a slightly different arrangement from the one I've been talking about earlier in the blog). And what I discovered was that it was a freaking nightmare.

Imagine doing something like painting, which is like meditation in a way - you are focused solely on the task before you, in a quiet and distraction-free environment (or at least it ought to be). Now, imagine that you have to step out of this environment, and suddenly find yourself in a chaotic, multi-directional place like, say, behind the register of a service station. At any given moment, you could find yourself worrying about four or five different tasks, and each of them could be interrupted by something else.

It's a bit like participating in a triathlon, or that sport where you have to do some cross-country skiing and then try to shoot at a target with a rifle. Oh, that's a biathlon, apparently. I was close.

After a few months of trying to keep all the threads together (and learn a new job in the process), I eventually decided to stick with just the retail thing since it was the part that was actually paying me. I hated giving up on the art stuff, but at that point my job was too important to screw up, since I hated being unemployed.
Since then, I've done some painting stuff in the meantime, but only the parts for the mural that I've already described in this blog and that was only incidental; I originally only went to the studio for a social visit and got roped in to helping out - damn, she's persuasive. Aside from that, not much else has happened with my art.

And that's the problem.
By investing my time mostly with work, I've been neglecting all the other stuff that makes live endurable. I've become slack in my free time, and instead of visiting friends, doing fun things and generally having a life, I spend my days off mucking around at home, and sleeping.

I think I need to alter my priorities a little. Just a bit.

Of course, the other thing is that my employers have recently altered my working situation. I am now working a guaranteed five days a week, ensuring I have 30~ hours spread over two sites, with casual rates. Everyone who's heard about this seems to be happy for me. But. I'm not entirely sure I think this is good news.

I don't know why I'm reluctant about this, since it's mostly work that I'm familiar with, and there are a lot of people who would really enjoy being in a position like mine. I know for sure that the job environment is not going to be any better anywhere else.

I think my problem is that I'm treating this job as an end in itself, when it really ought to be the means. After all, who of us can say that their job is their entire life and say that they are happy with it?
I need to make sure that I'm doing all of this for a reason, and not just a self-contained one (ie. I'm doing it because they need me to). I need to remember that all this money I'm earning doesn't just have to go to the bills and food and stuff. I need to remember that I do have other skills than knowing how to give correct change, and which brand of beans is canned or frozen.

Put simply, I need to get out more.

At any rate, this is something I need to work on (no pun intended). I need to organise something with my friends before the end of the month, so that ought to be a good starting point.

Stay tuned.